Hot For Teacher

I Like Alice, Part 7

Remember in highschool when the smart guy in the class would ask something like, “Hey, Tom, what grade did you get on the writing assignment?”

You knew that he was asking only so that you’d ask him in turn. He wanted to brag, or show-off.

I hated those moments. And I hated every time that I asked that question. But I asked it at least as much as anyone.

Thankfully, no one ever asked my grades in math class.

——
“So, have you picked a name for your character?” Dee asked, again. Wine did that to her. We had opened a bottle after the walk home from Yak’s. She let fly what was top-of-mind even if she knew it would bother me.

“No flash of blinding insight,” I said. “How about you?”

When Rob, Buddy and I used to write comic strips, Rob made up names, not me. Puckerface was the cleverest name I made up.

“Alice Hopper,” she said, with enthusiasm. “That’s who I’m going to talk about when we meet with Dr. Marty.”

She then flooded me with stories about the real person who was her imaginary friend. Dee’s energy is infectious. I enjoyed her answer, the way Dee was connected to herself. I cribbed notes.

Alice Hopper ran the Little Hopper Day School. Dee went to school there through fourth grade. Dee remembers fondly the few times that Alice was the substitute teacher in her classes - “I loved it every time that she would fill in for a sick teacher. And in third grade, my teacher had a breakdown in February. Mrs. Hopper taught for the rest of the spring.”

Few details went with her half-hour near-monologue. I added my own embellishments.

I knew that Alice Hopper would let me complain about my clients. She’d actually tell them to read Strunk And White. She’d declare that they were overmatched by the simple sentence. She would understand my frustration.

Then she’d explain how secretly, she would want all her students to slow down, learn the rules, and take things one step at a time. I knew that she understood there was more power in a simple list than rote learning the multiplication table to 15. She must love lists and simples sentences.

Dee would probably disagree. Still, her words, my story. And Alice Hopper would need a different name.

I was hot for teacher.

… continued

——

I Like Alice

Part 7: Hot For Teacher
Part 6: I’m Not An Old Woman
Part 5: Shithead. The Beer.
Part 4: Pen And Buddy
Part 3: Dee-Lightful Lunch
Part 2: Dance Around The Damn May Pole
Part 1: Good Just Isn’t Good Enough