Elective Pharmacology

Cosmetic Addictions, New Breasts - Part 7

“Are you trying to talk Dee into a boob job?” I asked Dr. Marty.

“You’d enjoy it Tom,” Dee said.

“No,” I said. “I wouldn’t.”

“You’re friends would enjoy it,” Dee said.

Life coaching is fun.”

Go to hell. C and Dee will talk about boob jobs.

That’s fun.

Shut up, face.

Dr. Marty said, “Dee has told me about your wonderful friends.”

“I like my car,” I said. “I like your body. I like my friends.”

“I was just kidding,” Dee said. “At least about my breasts, but you are getting a new car.”

“Your a writer, Tom. I have a great magazine idea for you,” Dr. Marty said. “One like New Beauty. It’s going to be wildly successful for the same reason, by promoting durable increases in happiness.”

I said, “High Times already exists.”

“Your close,” Dr. Marty said. “The name of the magazine should be Elective Psycho-Pharmacology.”

“Cosmetic Addictions sounds better,” I said.

“The proper use of anti-depressants, anti-anxiety drugs, sleep aids, all of that makes people much more happy in a durable sense. Studies prove this, too.”

“It’s disgusting,” I said. “It’s going to fail. New Beauty is going to fail.”

“Why?” Dee asked.

“Besides that it’s disgusting?”

“I don’t think so,” she said.

“It’s putting drugs in your body. It’s carving up your body. It’s awful.”

Dr. Marty interrupted Dee, “There are important benefits to these changes. This stuff works,” Dr. Marty said.

I said, “You make is sound no more that a Getting Things Done project.”

“Several of my clients are much happier after these types of changes and…”

“Only desperate people,” I interrupted, “do these things to their bodies. No act of desperation can improve happiness. It’s degrading. There would be more shame. What would your studies say about that?”

“You know,” Dr. Marty said. “Things like Prozac create significant mood improvements for many people. Do you like coffee?”

Pause.

“Tom?” Dee asked.

“What?”

“Marty asked if you like coffee.”

“Yes.”

“Like Prozac,” Dr. Marty said, “caffeine is a mood altering drug.”

“So.”

“Cosmetic drugs have been part of our culture for forever.”

“So.”

“These new drugs,” he continued, “are like other socially acceptable ones.”

“It’s a short cut. It’s a horrible short cut.”

“Perhaps you’d also like to say that it changes personality, too.”

“It’s worse than that.”

“That’s why the research continues. The benefit to staying informed about all of this is great. Positive stories, positive images, the destigmatization of the whole subject.”

“It deserves it’s stigma,” I said. “It’s fake.”

“Are you religious?”

“No.”

I am.

Go to hell.

You are too.

What?

You’re always telling me to go to hell.

“I just ask,” Dr. Marty said, “because I didn’t think you’d give me the a-body-is-a-temple argument.”

“Yeah.”

“We’re running out of time here. Think of Prozac like contact lenses, but instead of seeing better, you process what you see better.”

“Whatever.” There was no time for further argument.

“Also, I want you to perseverate David Allen. Make a long list of all the things you don’t like that he does. Pick a couple and think up David’s explanation for that behavior, the way it makes sense and seems natural to him. Bring a list, we’ll talk more.”

… continued

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Cosmetic Addictions, New Breasts

Part 6: Elective Pharmacology
Part 6: My Car, Her Breasts
Part 5: Next Action?
Part 4: Dee On The Desk
Part 3: Clacking
Part 2: Smell The Writing
Part 1: Detail, Time Square