Dr. 70s-Porno-Mustache

Visiting The Doctor, Part 3

Introductions can be so messy and awkward. By the middle of the first meeting with Dr. Marty “Life Coach” everything was worse.

He wore a nice shirt, perhaps silk, the kind that wasn’t supposed to wrinkle even if you slept in it. His was wrinkled. It was periwinkle, too. Wrinkled periwinkle, that was Dr. Marty’s look.

He also had a bushy, 70s porno mustache. It lived an animated life. He relished talking, and trying to use fancy words, and things that made him giggle for no apparent reason.

Dee was his friend now. She’d even giggle back. I needed to point that out so it would stop.

Dr. Marty’s shifted gears after his disastrous start when he talked about beginnings, and emotions, and sleeping with Dee. He said, “I’m really excited to be working with a married couple - a team - because I think a lot of this stuff - my life coaching stuff - works much, much better when shared between two people.” He looked back and forth between me and Dee.

I stayed quiet.

He continued, “Even much better than when it’s shared by a group or a department at work. The support of one person who really understands is so valuable. That’s one of the roles of a life coach, but the two of you have each other.”

If Dee was my life coach, I’d have a string of unfinished projects, and half-honored promises to clients.

“In a group, people are too self conscious or too skeptical or too attention seeking. Also, there is always someone who undermines the process just out of defensiveness. They don’t want to do something about their challenges. They want to be stuck, frozen.”

I stewed as his monologue continued.

“So we will meet together but also I plan to meet with you one on one. And the reason is because…”

He was no better than my clients who need their work redone. Anyone who studied English past the fourth grade knows that the proper grammar is “the reason is that.” Better still is avoiding either expression altogether. I smirked at his inanity.

… continued

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Visiting The Doctor

Part 4: Dr. 70s-Porno-Mustache
Part 2: I’d Like To Sleep With Your Wife
Part 1: Faux Monet